This is a big week for me. In a couple days, I’m flying to Honolulu to run my first marathon. Since June I have been running at least once a week in the hopes that I would become one of those people that LOVES running. Regretfully, this phenomenon never happened. As a person with constant foot and knee pain most of my life, I still hate it. However, before I signed up for the training, the most I had ever run without stopping was 2 miles. Now I can boast having run 18 miles during my longest training run.
And even though it didn’t give me a warm and fuzzy feeling, I’m confident that I’ll be able to finish a marathon and consequently bust through a self-imposed limitation in this area. Plus, I believe other areas of my life that seem stagnant will miraculously evolve after this victory as well.
What’s interesting is that during this time when I’ve been training so hard, I’ve also fallen in love. Ironically, this year I wrote a fitness book called LOVE MAKES YOU FAT: How to Keep the Love and Lose the Love Handles. It includes many strategies I’ve learned the hard way. A therapist can really have a field day with THAT conviction, though. Did I fall in love so I could gain weight and have an excuse not to finish the marathon? Did I get in a relationship so I could blame him for my shortcomings? Or am I finally aware of my deep-seeded fears about love so now I can transform into the fully self-expressed romantic that I truly am?
My mom told me once never to write down anything personal because it could come back and “bite me in the ass.” Well, I realized recently that my survival instinct is often in direct conflict with my need for happiness and fulfillment. And because I want to do more than just “survive” my life… I’m going to share how my relationship affects my body in the interest that other women will see a little bit of themselves in me. I take a lot of pride in all the work (and mistakes) I’ve done to evolve into the person I am today. I think there is a lot to learn from each other.
I’m making a commitment today to write at least twice a week about how relationships affect body weight. Hope you’ll join me for this journey and please wish me luck 🙂
Health & Happiness,