I Heart Cupcakes

by Zen Gray

I don’t know about you, but if I’m going to start a diet I usually give myself a few days of “preparation” before I actually begin it. Unfortunately, my few prep days typically turn into, “Oh, I better eat this now because I won’t be able to while I’m back on the wagon…”

I’ve noticed this lovely phenomenon happening last week. While waiting for my coach to get back to me about what fitness competition I’m going to do, I’ve been having a food free-for-all. I know once I’m committed to a diet that I’ll stick to it, but that eating plan hasn’t officially started, so I’m in limbo land where chocolate cupcakes dance upon my counter tops.

Perhaps that doesn’t sound like such a huge deal since I still workout and teach spin classes every week.  But even as an active person, high carb/sugary food messes me up. It’s not just the added pooch (which I could contribute to monthly hormonal chick stuff) but increasingly pissy moods and aches here and there.

I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, but there it is. I eat lots of chocolate sometimes. And David, my fiance, loves me so much that he wants to get me WHATEVER MAKES ME HAPPY. He sees my face light up at the mention of dessert. So, I have to try DOUBLY hard to say no… both to him and to myself… when I’m being more strict with my diet. He’s what you’d call an enabler… and I love him for it. Ha! And that’s one of the reasons why love can make me fat.

BUT because David loves me so much, he has made a deal with me. As soon as my coach sets the fitness competition date (one of my New Year’s Resolutions), then we’ll start whittling down my body fat and David promises to refuse my pleas for dessert when I’ve committed to a strict dieting phase. (I must note here, though, that my competition diet WILL include a cheat HOUR once a week so I will be able to eat dessert… just not as often as I’d like.)

So, here’s my question to you:

If you’ve gained weight in your relationship, are you being enabled or are you the enabler?

As you know, I won’t judge you no matter what. I believe that everyone has struggles. It takes courage to fess up to your weaknesses or mistakes and then ask for help. If you’re dealing with some issues, talk to SOMEONE about them and look for guidance. Even the best athletes in the world need a coach, right?

Sending love to you and all your perfect imperfections.

~Zen

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8 Comments to “I Heart Cupcakes”

  1. I’m THE worst case of both!!!! Did you ever find that when you are newly twitterpated :0) that you lose weight? Then the comfort zone slips in and the late night sweets…

    • Margie, I’ve found that I lose weight either when I’ve broken up with someone (that wasn’t working for me) or when I’m in a good relationship and my partner supports my efforts despite my whining for chocolate when I’m craving it. (I like to whine about stuff while I take the high road. I figure I can bitch as long as I get it done 😉 I refuse to believe that the comfort zone dooms us ladies to send our skinny jeans into exile.

  2. Zen: cupcakes look good on you so we know they’re not evil from your appearance, energy and status as goddess of training. It’s uplifting to hear you share your tactics to manage sweets. My strategy is transitioning from sweets to fruits (unlimited) then protein and veggies with some wholegrain dotting. My brain gets it and then i move to sweet destinations: Vday, Bday. Until I slide. :-0.

    • Thanks, Nance 🙂 I love my cupcakes but luckily I also love to workout so I bounce back pretty fast when I’m on track. What really helps me is to have a SPECIFIC DATE in mind for my goal. In this case, I’ve been waiting for the competition date. Since I’ve haven’t gotten one yet, I’ll have to pick a closer date or event… like Valentines… and shoot for a realistic target like 1-2 pounds per week of weight loss. And when Valentine’s Day is passed, then I’ll just choose another one. I like to tell my clients that if they don’t have a special event coming up soon to CREATE one with friends and/or family and use that to motivate themselves. I’m just not the kind of person that can be in peak condition “just because”… I need to have a reason and I need to have a goal date. That just works for me. I also like the transition to fruit when coming off of a sugar binge. Fruit definitely helps me, too.

  3. Loved it Zen! and i can totally relate to EVERYTHING you just said (with the exception, of course, of having a fiance that gives in to my every food whim on a dessert level! lol) and to somewhat answer your question: i gain weight in a relationship because i get comfortable – and the irony of that is that im not a “people pleaser” so i dont go around obsessing about what i look like for the sake of being attractive to others when NOT in a relationship! but why is there a corrolation between me gaining weight and being in a relationship? because i get comfortable for one, and working out tends to not so much take a back seat, but its easy for me to put it off! so…….i’ll let you decide what category i fit into because im just confused and frustrated at this point! lol

  4. Hey Girl
    In some ways I’m an enabler. My husband has gained over 80 pounds since marrying me. Even back then he needed to lose 50. He’s as big as ever and getting sicker. He complains all the time he wants the weight gone but if I buy healthy food, then there is NOTHING to eat in the house. He gets mean and angry. He then begs me to go buy some cookies or something then gets upset because he ate it? But if I’m dieting or doing really well and ask for a little cheat, he thinks he has the right to be diet police to me and make it such an issue, that by the time I get it..all the joy is gone.

  5. @Audrey: isnt is funny….the double standard rule? i can totally relate!!

  6. It is funny but it really hurts my feelings. WHy should I have to battle and fight and beg to get a small portion of something or eat something I’m craving. But If he wants something he either just goes and gets it or buys it and hides it? Is it more important that I get skinny for looks so I’m bad if I have it? I’m more afraid he’s going to die and leave behind his wife and child over his love for chocolate milk and cookies

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